What do parents want for their kids? We want them to be good, happy and successful. I’d like to propose two opposite perspectives on life in America as alternative messages that parents can communicate to their kids. This choice applies to raising kids of every color, ethnicity and background. The ‘we are victims’ approach is most often seen among left leaning parents of black children. Which approach do you think is more likely to set a kid on a course leading to goodness, happiness and success? The more affective parenting approach applies whether America is full of racists or the least racist diverse nation in the history of civilization.
First the approach that is dogma on most college campuses and is at the very core of the identity politics that today’s leftist Democratic leadership needs to sustain itself.
Dear little Jane and Tommy, you are growing up in a nation saturated with racists. Everywhere you go you will encounter people who judge you based on the darker hue of your skin. Slaveholders founded America and built the nation on the backs of your ancestors. They owe you. That legacy of racism lingers in the hearts of many white people today. By the very nature of their skin color they posses “white privilege”. You will always be at a disadvantage. They will always have the advantage.
The police will target minority young men and women for no good reason. Police forces are rife with white officers that want to make black people’s lives miserable. When they see a young black man they see a potential criminal. White supremacy is alive and well. Black men are being routinely assaulted and murdered by white police officers. Blacks lives don’t matter to these people.
In school you will be marginalized and treated with distain. You will hear words and phrases that might sound benign but are subliminal dog whistles’ (code words) fostering racism and meant to offend you. You have a right to be offended and demand that language used in your presence that offends or makes you feel uncomfortable be banned. As a victim you have a right to what is called the hecklers veto.
Be assured if for any reason someone looks at you with less then a bright smile or treats you in a way that you do not appreciate it is probably because they are racist.
Secondly in the alternative:
Dear little Jane and Tommy, you are growing up in the least racist diverse nation in the history of mankind. Rarely will you encounter people who judge you based on the darker hue of your skin. Most Americans understand the ugly stain of slavery on America’s history. A bloody Civil War, followed by the discriminatory Jim Crow era gave rise to the civil rights movement, civil rights legislation, thousands of minority office holders at all levels of government and a growing black middle class culminating in a twice-elected black president. White Americans in the hundreds of thousands shed blood to end the abomination of slavery in America. This is an indication of the base goodness of most Americans of all races.
Opportunity abounds for all willing to work hard in this nation. American privilege has been mischaracterized by the myth of “white privilege “ today. The great socio-economic success of Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, East Indian, black Caribbean and black African immigrants in America gives lie to the myth of white privilege. The secret to American privilege is to see the opportunity that permeates America and exploit that opportunity by making good decisions in your life.
Slavery and intolerance of all varieties practiced by people of every race have characterized every civilization to one degree or another. You live in a nation that was plagued by the cognitive dissonance between it’s founding documents and that peculiar institution.
Thus we evolved in the direction of equality as enshrined in our founding documents by our brilliant, though flawed, Founders. Of course you will encounter bigots of every type. Humans are imperfect. Most Americans believe and live by Martin Luther King’s most famous admonition that each individual be judged by the content of his or her character.
That includes police officers. It is very rare for a police officer to target innocent black men. In the spirit of MLK the vast majority of police officers have no interest in skin color. In many of our most troubled communities the police force and public officials are majority minority.
In school hard work and accomplishment will be rewarded detached from skin color. Do not look at life through a colored lens. Do not lose a sense of humor. When you hear things you might disagree with, you have no right to be offended. You are not a victim. Engage in civil dialogue rather then shout down tactics and name-calling. Disagreement does not equate to racism.
Your success and happiness is only limited by how you employ your talents, how hard you work and the values you practice. The poverty rate among married black couples in America is 7.5%, below the national average of 11%. If you choose the path of hard work, graduate and do not have a child out of wedlock you will be on the road to a life of goodness, happiness and success.
If you let a few bigots distract you from focusing on what is necessary for a good life, the only winners will be the bigots. Living in America is a blessing. Why else have tens of millions risk life and limb to come to America. Don’t ever let the delusion of perfection deny you the wonderment of the opportunities that surround you.
Conclusion:
Anyone of any color choosing to communicate the first perspective to their children is doing those children a great disservice. Whether America is burdened with a population that is 5% or 25% racists is irrelevant. People who see themselves as aggrieved and put upon are not likely to be good, happy or successful.