PROGRESSIVE INCOME ACQUISITION THEORY

HOW TO MAKE A LIVING WITHOUT WORKING

Good news, we have been able to pinpoint by location the reasons for the national crime spree. Connecting the dots does not require Sherlock Homes’ instincts or an FBI investigation.

A cursory examination of the locations and prosecutorial methods in the areas of explosive crime reveals that all crime rising roads lead to cities with progressive mayors and district attorneys. It’s an exquisitely perfect mathematical formula. One progressive mayor plus one progressive district attorney equals crime unchecked. Madame Pelosi has yet to figure it out, “ Lawlessness springs from I don’t know where”. Poor Nancy can’t come to grips with lax prosecution, criminal release programs and no cash bail.

Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascon was not ambiguous, “punishment is not the answer to crime”. Poor George has never tried a criminal case. But he knows best. His philosophy is the foundation of left-wing law enforcement. Criminals are victims too.

San Francisco District Attorney Chesa Boudin, proud son of Weather Underground domestic terrorists, employs Gascon crime unpunishment techniques. So too Larry Krasner, the District Attorney in Philadelphia.

Chicago D.A. Kim Fox, famous for refusing to prosecute Jussie Smollett, has belatedly discovered that handicapping the cops and letting bad guys out of jail has consequences, do tell. 

Don’t fret, Los Angeles Mayor Garcetti promised to “hunt down” vicious coivid-19 mandate violators. He’s manning (can I say that) the front lines of the war against covid-19 criminals. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot chastised retailers for failing to chain-down merchandise and hire private security. Bless her heart.

My conservative friends, relatives of those raped, robbed, car-jacked and murdered are up in arms. Aren’t they being a bit harsh? Shockingly and belatedly, London Breed, the mayor of San Francisco, has chimed in suggesting tougher crime policy might be in order. Like conservatives, her heart has hardened. She needs to be properly updated about the progressive social mentality that I call ‘progressive wage acquisition theory’.

Most people on the left instinctively understand. With wage increases being swallowed up by inflation and tax dollars being consumed paying for the lodging, health care and education of illegal immigrants, citizens need to take possession of what they need. Applying for one of the eleven million unfilled jobs would be too difficult. Why work for ‘the man’ when millions are getting goodies free of charge. Illegal immigrants broke the law and have been rewarded. Why not citizens?

Organized smash and grab theft can generate tax-free income. Social media is a God’s sent for latter-day hoodlums. Organize online with fellow thugs and connect with those anxious to buy stolen merchandise. Venmo makes it easy.

“Criminals”, hoping I’m not hurting their tender feelings, see themselves as heroes. They’re merely taking what they had been unjustly denied. BLM leaders tell them that stealing merchandise represents reparations for something that may have been done to a black person they may or may not have been related to and for discrimination that they may or may not have suffered. To heck with dicey details. Social justice and equity trump the law. Outcomes are unrelated to effort, talent, skill or even luck. It’s Utopia. Just wondering if any of the retailers who gave millions to BLM have any misgivings.

How does one achieve the equal outcome they dub equity? They take what they deserve from Nordstrom’s, Neiman Marcus, Tiffany, Gucci, Walgreens, Sephora, Lululemon, Nike and all the other capitalist robber barons. Everything the white bourgeoisie has is ill-gotten gain anyway. If a few innocent people are robbed, injured, killed, businesses closed and jobs lost, that’s just collateral damage in pursuit of social justice. Perish the thought that they are common criminals brutalizing others and stealing from hard working Americans of both genders; every race, ethnicity, heritage and religion. Even secular people may be targets, humanists forbid. 

The next time you hear about a thug or gaggle of thugs with long rap sheets who have committed another crime or six let out of jail, relax. Remember they are victims too. They are acting out a progressive equity concept called, progressive income acquisition theory.