BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR

Most progressives appear obsessed by their need to condemn and penalize bigots real and imaginary. Under every rock, behind every tree and of course hidden deep in the heart of every white religious conservative resides a black hole of bigotry. Progressives are the self-appointed bigot patrol. I guess that is what the world looks like viewed up in the rarified air perched atop their moral high ground. Hillary’s famous slur targeting unredeemable despicable Trump voters and Barack’s musing about how unhappy conservatives turn to God, guns and bigotry exploit a noxious left-wing sense of superiority. They view themselves as the righteous reservoir of moral conviction and compassion. Issue debate ends when dealing with unredeemable bigots. Must be very nice to live in such as an ego massaging world.

These sorts of short-sited expressions of delusional purity might not always turn out as expected. Take for example the progressive’s attack against Masterpiece Cake Shop owner Jack Phillips. He dared to refuse to bake a cake for a same sex wedding. When Charlie Craig and David Mullins pre-nuptial cake desires were turned down all hell broke loose. Instead of going down the street to another bakery, one of the grooms soon collapsed into shoulder quivering tears, as described by his mother. Having regained his composure, the two post-traumatized cupcakes went searching for a lawyer. They felt rejected. Poor darlings could not bear the thought of living in a world where people hold different values? Put the bakery bastard out of business.

I am pretty confident that the Supreme Court will rule in favor of Phillips. Whether the ruling will be based on an artist’s right to free expression or Phillip’s religious conviction, freedom should prevail over sensitivity. I am not aware of a constitutional right that protects the offended.

Let’s do a little thought experiment projecting what the future might look like if a progressive’s ox were gored. Trust me, the progressive positions would magically shift 180 degrees. Freedom for me would not apply to freedom for you.

Two children of holocaust survivors own a bakery in Brooklyn. In walks a nicely dressed David Duke. Neo-Nazi Duke is looking for someone to make a festive strudel and chocolate cake as a centerpiece to celebrate Hitler’s birthday at an event he is sponsoring. David asks the bakers to spell out “Heil Hitler” in brown icing in honor of the brown shirts. Would a lefty insist under penalty of law that the bakers fill that order?

A handsome gay couple in San Francisco owns a very upscale bakery. Charlie and David pride themselves as skilled culinary artists. Thelma and Louise are seeking a bakery to prepare a desert for an event that raises money for the reinstatement of traditional marriage. Their proposed cake design would inscribe in delicious black and white icing the words, “ Marriage, One Man and One Woman” featuring a four-inch plastic groom in a tuxedo embracing a beautiful bride in a wedding gown. Should we fine Charlie and David $150,000 if they refuse to fill the order?

Shane and Tamika worked tirelessly for the elections of President Obama. They own a hip bakery in Harlem. One afternoon Fred and Ethel enter. They are hosting a group of a dozen black conservatives for a dinner party. They need a triple dark chocolate cake. Spelled out in fluffy red, white and blue icing the cake would read, “Obama, An American Tragedy For African Americans”. Should we write a law to penalize Shane and Tamika for refusing to bake this cake?

Caitlyn Jenner and one of his kids opened a bakery in Malibu. In walks a surgeon who is hosting a party for fellow surgeons. The doctor has done sex transition surgeries for decades. He has concluded to never do that type of surgery again. The doctor witnessed how confused and unhappy most of his patients remained post surgery. He ordered a strawberry shortcake. “ Trans Surgery Is Mutilation” was to be spelled out in chocolate chips on top of a mountain of real whipped cream. Surrounding the message he envisions little pink vaginas and penises drawn from properly placed sprinkles. What do we do?

Sunshine Goldberg is a middle-aged women trained at a culinary school in Paris. She owns a groovy bakery in an older gentrified Boston neighborhood. Her parents, Dawn and Moonbeam, named her after the sunrise that warmed them at Woodstock before the rains came. In the spirit of free love Sunshine was conceived by accident in the mud as anti-war tunes inspired a sparsely glad half million hippies. Her parents met, dropped acid and copulated in the mud. They had a sloppy good time.

Sunshine has had three abortions. Bless her feminist free love heart.

Sunshine was 18 when she had her first abortion. Emulating her family’s spirit, the child was conceived in a Volkswagen Bug while the kids were high on weed. Some family traditions are just so precious. She had her second abortion when she was majoring in micro-aggressions at Cal. A child would have crushed her dream of doing graduate study at a culinary school in Paris. Baby disposal was so damn easy after Roe v. Wade.

Her third abortion came after two kids survived her choices and actually made it into this world alive. She didn’t want to burden the environment with a third human resource consumer. So zip dee doo dah baby went into the hazardous waste container at Planned Parenthood. After all she prides herself as a socially responsible woman. Clearly Sunshine is a woman of great conviction whose behavior offends the deeply held moral code of tens of millions of Americans.

Susan, the president of Pro-Life Boston, is conducting a conference. She wants to employ Sunshine’s professional culinary skills. Susan wants the dessert table at the event generously covered with cupcakes in a variety of flavors. Each cupcake would have one decorative letter made from pink and baby-blue icing spelling out, “Abortion Takes A Precious Defenseless Human Life”. Do you write a law that would punish sweet Sunshine if she refuses.

Only the limits of imagination prevent me from coming up with additional examples of the probable consequences that will follow in the wake of a bad decision in this case. A leftist world where laws are written based on peoples peculiar sensibilities looks a lot different when it bites them in the ass.

How about we agree to preserve freedom of conscience and speech for everyone? Find a bakery that suits your needs. It’s not complicated.

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